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Love and Madness

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In this sick world of madness and love, never be so assured that the two shan’t cross paths, somewhere down the road.

She had no name, no identity and no memory, when about a year ago, she woke up in a hospital surrounded by the walls as blank as her head. She pleaded and she begged, to the strangers and the men of honour, to find her the reason for her existence, the foundation of her existence. She would ask strangers if they knew her, but to her misfortune, she had run out of luck long before she knew it.

In a cold room at the coldest boulevard of the city, she cried to sleep every night, but not without the slightest sense of desperation.

Hopeless, after months of agony, she quit on her past and embraced a new beginning, one which would offer her a life she wouldn’t have asked for, when young.

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Romance

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Why are all the good ones taken?

A masterpiece, my gaze is inevitably drawn into

Bittersweet dreamboat, always too good to be true

More precisely, why do I dive in headfirst free falling down a cliff

How many more to come, until I learn from this age-old mistake

Must my heart insist, on torture in the most painful way

Clinging onto shreds of hope each time

That this next mirage will finally be mine.

Was I in love with him?

Or simply charmed by the idea of this enigma

Will the universe ever cross our paths, my darling soulmate?

Perhaps, instead, you might leave me with the resolution

That romance in my life is meant to remain dead.

Varna

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Through my heavy eyelids,

I glanced at my last packet of hot and spicy Lays

In the mess of scattered cans of red bull,

the bright rays of the sun begin to shine once again

As I finally clicked the “submit” button for my assignment

Pasta

Distraction

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I need a distraction.

Could you be so, just for today?

This isn’t what you think it is

Gaze into my orbs

There is no lust, not even love

Just the desperate need for comfort.

 

Hold me for a little while

Envelope me in your warm embrace

Allow my senses to be filled with you;

The throbbing in my skull to subside

The tears to cascade down onto you

The strangled sobs to escape my lips.

 

I’d be lying if I said

I needed your soul, though it is beautiful.

Ethereal, despite your cynical nature

Yet it is not your good looks I crave either.

Although you are quite the pretty picture

Nay, just hold me and stroke my hair

Till my anguish subsides

From this state of despair.
That alone will do.

Varna

Happy

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I don’t want to write about you. But I don’t get to control what bleeds onto that white sheet. The blue ink is a reflection of everything I’m afraid to admit. My pen knows what my heart refuses to acknowledge and does a better job at revealing all my emotions. A writer’s pen is foolish, I’d say. It lets out things that are supposed to be kept buried deep down in our hearts.
Isn’t it strange? How everything I try to do connects to you towards the end and yet how disconnected we are right now.
Isn’t all of this strange? It’s not that we don’t care anymore but tell me  — was it necessary for you to make me feel like an option? Maybe you’ll ignore this too, like the messages and calls, and just pretend to be busy. So, I guess, I have to answer all these questions by myself.
Yes, it’s strange! And I guess I will never get an honest answer from you. So, this will be my last goodbye to those probabilities and ‘what if’ thoughts.
As I smile and tie the last knot, I take a deep breath and stand up to examine my work. I smile again.
No. I didn’t tie you down to random things. I didn’t weigh you down with random prejudices. It isn’t because I’m bitter. It isn’t because I’ve been hurt too many times to realise what a good thing you are. It’s all your lies that are weighing you down. And I am removing them from myself and tying them to you instead. Just remember as I push you off my ship…
The only thing weighing you down is your own lies and fallacies. All of your empty promises.
All of your twisted logic — all those things which used to keep me all tied up in knots.
Now, they are the knots in your rope. Maybe, one day, you will wriggle free.
Maybe, one day, you will swim up to the surface.
But, my ship will be long gone. I plan to sail off into the sunset, far from you, and the water made fetid by your presence. Your poison.
I do not wish for you to drown. I wish for you to reach the surface and breathe deep. I wish for you to build your own ship. I wish for you to find joy.
I just wish you didn’t build it with planks and nails of the pain of someone else. I just wish not to have my sad sighs filling your sails. I just wish… I wish you knew how to be happy without another’s pain.

A.D.

Lunelle

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Serene Fantasia,
Gardenia City.

Weeping stag tree, to prance no more
Clouds dangling from tire swings
Bohemian beach-side caravans in a distant Gypsy daydream.

Every nook and cranny a picturesque panorama
Wishfully dotted skies and hopeful eyes cast heavenwards.

The beauty of the celestial cosmos tattooed across their awe-filled orbs
A luminous crystal ball gazes down below,
Cloaked in the mysterious disguise of night.

La Luna, be my Lady Luck tonight
Cradle me in your milky light,
Your wisdom I seek, ’tis nought but right
For my soul lays fragile without your might.

Varna

RED

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Colour me crimson,
Dipped in that hot cherry red
Auspicious, conspicuous
Spiced wilder than chilli.
A shade so bright, it burns vivaciously
With a fury that even hell would envy
Scarlet beads of rubies
Precious this blood be.
In every drop her anguish
Her lips vermilion
Ravishing, beckoning
Come hither, lusciously sweet
Like sugar with honey.
Regal, traditional
Of poise and grace
She’s a classic vision of beauty.
Porcelain features etched on her face
Red, red O’ glorious it be.
A nation’s pride blazes
Flaming flags nip the air

‘Tis a hue donning many faces

red. Red. RED. R E D.

Yet, I prefer maroon.

Varna