Red, like the first rays of the Sun;
Red, like the colour of blood;
You have a very special place in my life.
When I met you for the first time, it was very different from the others.
I told you that I wanted to say sorry to you even though I didn’t know who you were.
I had no compulsions but I wanted to do it anyway.
I never did things unplanned,
but with you, every moment is different.
I don’t need you, but I want to have you.
And for me, that is different.
I know I can exist without you, but I also know it’s 200 times better when it’s with you.
For the first time, I am leaning on to someone and I don’t feel like I am going to cling on to you.
That’s why I got scared the other day.
I realised that it was my past fears tearing me away.
I talk about my fears openly with you, and I know you can use them to hurt me.
But I’m still not afraid.
You could hurt me, and I would still stand there
You’re not a part of me, but you’re a part of my life.
That’s what you are, and that’s why I wouldn’t hurt you.
Because you made me find the love where freedom and independence existed, along with trust and belongingness.
So yes, I would die a million deaths, but I wouldn’t hurt you or let anyone hurt you.
Yours truly,
Black.
Ashmita